How Beauty Aesthetics Help Us Embrace, Experiment With, and Redefine Womanhood

We live in the age of the internet aesthetic. Whether we're being told to romanticize the more banal aspects of our day or adopt "main character energy," we've found ourselves in a time when it's commonplace, maybe even encouraged, to step outside of our lives and look through the lens of a different perspective. Let's say, for example, I'm going to the grocery store. If Instagram and TikTok have taught me anything, I'm not just going to the grocery store. I'm meandering the aisles of my local shop, listening to music fit for a rom-com, and searching for the perfect ingredients to make a "girl dinner." If I'm spending a Saturday at home, I'm not just spending a Saturday at home. I'm living my best cottagecore life, sipping herbal tea, reading a book, and embracing a cozy lifestyle.

One of the easiest and most effective ways to express these moods and perspectives is through beauty. Change your look, change your life, right? On one hand, I think this is a noble pursuit. To me, it's essentially a practice in novelty and gratitude—cultivating excitement and contentment in the otherwise insignificant areas of life. On the other hand, I can see the downsides. Constantly adopting a character or playing a role could grow wearisome. What's more, there are so many different possibilities and perspectives that it almost gives me decision fatigue.

Recently, though, I've been seeing internet aesthetics in a different light. Flitting between them, choosing different looks, and expressing a different side of my personality feels a lot like freedom. I've realized that it's not about playing a character or abandoning oneself; it's about embracing all of the facets of oneself. It's about experimenting with and redefining womanhood. It's about expressing ourselves in ways that, historically, haven't been available to us. Maybe internet aesthetics are so popular because they allow us to break out of the societal mold of what a woman "should be" or "should look like." I think it really comes down to expression and the freedom of choice.

It's even more apparent when we consider that many of the most popular beauty aesthetics are contradictory. The simple, sweet life of cottagecore is juxtaposed with the success and high stakes of quiet luxury. The girlish and innocent coquette is juxtaposed with the sultry and dominating "siren eyes" or "revenge makeup." It's a visual representation of our multifaceted identities. Ahead, I take an in-depth look at some of the most popular beauty aesthetics and what they symbolize.

I see the coquette aesthetic as a reclamation of a youthful identity that has been (and sometimes still is) seen as being shallow or superficial. Growing up, we hear things like "You play like a girl" and "Be a man." We get the message that girlhood is soft and silly, whereas boyhood is based on strength and momentum. When women embrace that side of themselves, they reject the narrative and build a different one—that you can embrace pink blushed cheeks, shiny lip gloss, and silky hair ribbons and still be strong, capable, and complex.

On the flip side, popular beauty aesthetics like revenge makeup and siren eyes embrace a darker, sultrier side. Think voluminous hair, kohl-rimmed eyes, and blood-red lipstick. This look displays maturity, domination, and a strong sense of self. To me, it's sultry but not sexualized—a critical distinction.

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What strikes me about the cottagecore aesthetic is its inherent simplicity. The beauty look involves cherry-red lips and cheeks, effortless hair, and accessories with a handmade or vintage feel. It's linked with a rise in homesteading accounts on IG and TikTok, and as such, it reflects a lifestyle of gardening, home cooking, and general slow living. We don't have to lead this lifestyle; we can choose this lifestyle.

Quiet luxury seems to be in direct opposition. Instead of down-to-earth simplicity, it's based on expense, status, and success. Popularized by beauty icons like Sofia Richie, and shows like Succession, you can get the look with a fresh yet flawless complexion and slicked-back hair. It implies a certain power and influence.

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While the term "clean girl" is problematic, it's dominated social media for most of the past year. This look is the epitome of minimalism. Think skin-first makeup, fluttery lashes, and a slicked-back bun. It's associated with ideals of self-care and health and wellness. Its emphasis seems to be on affording the same level of care to oneself as was historically only given to family and friends. Through that lens, it's a beauty aesthetic that makes a low-key yet powerful statement.

Then, we come to one of the newest aesthetic trends—the so-called mob wife trend. It's the epitome of maximalism. It's based on iconic TV characters like Carmela Soprano and Adriana La Cerva. These characters were enigmatic, influential, and complex, and the associated beauty look portrays that. While no single element stands out, it's the combination of voluminous '90s-esque hair, boldly lined lips, and sun-tanned skin that creates the intimidating mob wife effect.

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