Flight Upgrades and Packing Nightmares—Every Travel Tip From Gary Janetti's New Book

Now that we've entered peak travel season, you're probably either thinking about your next trip, unpacking from your last one, or figuring out how to book something quickly before the summer comes to a close. When it comes to hilarious and highly relatable travel stories, nobody does it better than Gary Janetti. The New York Times best-selling author, television writer, and producer just published his third book We Are Experiencing a Slight Delay, and it dives into his travels across the globe, from his family cruises aboard the Queen Mary 2 to the hotels that feel like homes away from home in London and Paris to his candid experience at a bougie wellness retreat in Italy.

For devoted Janetti fans and followers, he's as hilarious and opinionated in print as he is online, and his newest release will have you laughing out loud, nodding in agreement, and ruminating on your own travel memories—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Janetti tellsBest Knockoff Luxury Clothing that he's had a love for travel for as long as he could remember. "My dad worked in sales for a cruise line, and when I was growing growing up in Queens, we would go for one week a year on a cruise, and I became obsessed with travel. I've always either been planning a trip or had my next one on deck," he says.

In addition to traversing the globe from Mykonos to Australia, Janetti peppers his travel stories with the tips and advice he swears by, all delivered in his biting, sarcastic, and charming tone. We're chatting here with him about his best bits of wisdom, from the sneaky ways to get upgraded to the airport outfit to avoid at all costs.

Don't—Under Any Circumstances—Check a Bag

"Oh my God. Carry-on. Carry-on! How many exclamation points can you fit?" he says. There's an entire chapter in the book dedicated to this called "How to Pack," where Janetti gets into the weeds about it. He's currently on a three-week trip for his book tour and doing it all with a carry-on. (His pick is a Louis Vuitton canvas roller he's been loyal to for years.)

"First of all, how many times have you checked a bag, only to come home and say, 'I didn't need to bring all this,'?" he says. "I just don't bring all that in the first place. I can visualize exactly what I'm gonna wear every day, and I mix and match. The other thing is to do laundry. You don't need underwear for every day that you're gone because I don't like to travel with dirty laundry anyway. Who wants to travel the suitcase full of dirty clothes? It's disgusting. Just wash your clothes when you're gone, and don't wash them in the hotel. Go to a local laundromat, and then you'll have the experience of living like a local wherever it is you're staying."

Be Willing to Board the Plane Last

"I think the best way to get upgraded is to always wait. Be willing to be the very last person to board the plane. Sometimes, they'll do the cheaper upgrades that you can get very last-minute, so you never know what'll come up," he says.

It Doesn't Hurt to Bring the Flight Attendants Gifts

"I think this would work better on a young person, shall we say," he says. "If you're bringing a box of chocolates to the flight attendants or some other gift for them, I have heard and told firsthand of people being given an upgrade if it's available, which I think is kind of a lovely thing. Kindness is key, but it never hurts to ask for anything."

Rethink Wearing Sweats at the Airport

"I'm never walking onto an airplane in a sweatsuit. How comfortable do you have to be, you know? We're not in your den watching TV with you on a rainy night. You don't have the flu—you can dress like a human being. You don't have to dress like Grace Kelly. Maybe just opt for pants that have something other than a drawstring. The exception is when you're sleeping and you want to change overnight into a sweatsuit. That's fine, but do you really need to be in sweats all the time? I just feel like it just makes the whole airport look so blah," he says.

Overall, Janetti says you should aim to look like you're about to go to a casual restaurant—think relaxed trousers, flats, and simple layering top.

Learn How to Choose the "Right" Restaurant

"I call it a right restaurant, you know? Most people would think it has to be trendy or that they've seen it on Instagram. It's on all the lists. It's on everybody's list. And sometimes, for an evening, that can work. It's many things, though," he says. "Last night, for example, Brad and I are in Portofino, and we went to a restaurant called Trattoria Concordia, and we asked the people who worked at the hotel where they go to eat. It was not on the harbor with all the beautiful views. It was tucked a little bit in the hill behind it. It was very simple. Just a few wooden tables and chairs with white tablecloths. And that's it. Everybody there was Italian, so I knew it was going to be good. One person was cooking. One waiter—always a good sign. The energy, the love that went into the food, the simplicity of it, the 'anti-restaurant'-ness of it—Brad and I were like, this is the right restaurant."

Janetti's Go-To Places in His Favorite Cities

London:

"People have started sending me on Instagram pictures of them getting the fish and chips at J Sheekey, which is in Soho on the West End there. I've been going for 30 years and getting fish and chips there. I'm sure there are other places in London where Brits will say, 'Oh my God, no, the better fish and chips are here, here, and there'. But it's an institution. The restaurant is beautiful. It's this beautiful wood-paneled room with this little passageway right across from the theater. I'm sure your hotel concierge could recommend it too. But not everything also has to be a hidden secret, right?"

"Ever since Chiltern Firehouse opened some 10 years ago, I haven't stayed in another hotel. And for the foreseeable future, I can't imagine staying in another hotel. I literally know everybody who works there. It feels like when I'm there I'm in my London apartment, and it makes me feel like I also live in London, which is what you always want. I think I would be disoriented if I stayed somewhere else. Although for years before that, I had stayed at the Covent Garden Hotel, which is also a beautiful hotel. I write about it in my book. There's a chapter called 'The Covent Garden Hotel.'"

Paris:

"When Brad and I went to Paris for the first time together over 20 years ago, we went to this bistro called Chez André. It's not far off the Seine on this beautiful little street. Someone recommended that it was open late, and I wanted roast chicken, so we went and had the best meal. It was so friendly, and it felt so Parisian. You won't find it on any of the trendy or fashionable lists, but it's wonderful. It's always our first meal when go to Paris now, and I get the same meal every time."

For hotels, Janetti likes Le Bristol: "It's very warm. That is a hotel with soul." Of course, he adds, "I mean, the Ritz Paris is fabulous."

New York:

"When in New York, it's Balthazar," he says. "I think it's popular for a reason. There are things that are popular for no reason and then things that are warranted. It's everything. It's the room. It's the environment. It's the people who work there. I always think the people who work there are so important. I worked in the service industry from the time I was 16 to 28, and it's so much a part of it. It's the same thing with a hotel."

"When I lived in New York, I lived downtown. I'd only stayed downtown, and I've stayed at the Mercer for 20 years, but I mixed it up for a visit to Midtown and stayed at the Baccarat," he says. "I was like, 'Oh my God, I'm in a whole new city.' I could walk to the theater where I was oriented to New York in such a different way. They're both lovely hotels."

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