What You Should (and Shouldn't) Wear as a Guest at an Indian Wedding

As a fashion editor, I’m always happy to offer style advice to anyone who asks for it. Most of the time said advice pertains to weddings—what’s acceptable to wear, what isn’t, and whether or not a light shade of blue looks too white in some lights. I understand the anxiety many guests experience when an invitation comes through the letterbox; choosing an outfit for a wedding as a guest—especially a guest who identifies as a woman—can be tricky. White is still considered to be a big no-no (unless it is clearly stipulated on the invite as the desired dress code—something that is becoming a more popular choice for a variety of couples, if you can believe it). Then there’s making sure you don’t end up wearing the same colour or, even worse, the exact same dress, as the bridesmaids. With brands such as Ghost and Self-Portrait delivering fashionable designs that blur the line between wedding party and attendee, it has been known to happen. However, recently, a friend came to me with a query which I simply did not have the answer to, nor did I feel comfortable musing on. The question? What should I wear to an Indian wedding?

I’m not fortunate enough to have attended an Indian wedding myself, so I’ve never had to give the subject much thought. However, this question piqued my interest. I am far too self-critical to call myself an expert on anything, but as someone who has built a career talking and writing about fashion, I wanted to fill this gap in my knowledge with sound, sage and accurate advice I could pass on to my friend, and to anyone lucky enough to attend such a celebration who may also be unsure how to stylishly navigate it. This, dear reader, is where an actual expert comes in. 

Inspired by a love for fashion but also the desire for it not to weigh on her conscience, ex-investment analyst Eshita Kabra-Davies founded luxury fashion rental platform By Rotation as a side hustle in 2019. Having travelled to her motherland Rajasthan, India, for her honeymoon and witnessed the first-hand effects of textile waste, Kabra-Davies felt compelled to change, and bring about change. A self-proclaimed “third culture kid”, Kabra-Davies is especially focused on creating a conscious and inclusive community that democratises fashion without harming the planet. Having recently headed back to Rajasthan for the first time since By Rotation’s inception for her brother’s wedding, who better to inform us on what to wear to an Indian wedding as a guest than Kabra-Davies. Having seen beautiful Indian weddings from afar—social media is truly a wonderful thing sometimes—I wanted to learn more about the intricacies that go into dressing for one, as well as the cultural meaning behind the traditions. So, read on to find out what to wear to an Indian wedding, as told by the stylishly-blessed Eshita Kabra-Davies.

What are the differences between the dress codes of an Indian wedding vs. a western wedding?
Indian weddings will often have multiple events across a few days, and each will have its own dress code. I understand this might be overwhelming, so the general advice I’d give to wedding guests at Indian weddings is to avoid wearing the following colours at religious events: White (mourning), black (inauspicious) and red (bridal).

Would you be expected to wear multiple outfits? If so, please explain more! 
An Indian wedding will often have multiple events that come with different dress codes. Hindu weddings in particular have religious ceremonies and meanings attached to each event. Below are examples of typical events to expect when you are invited to a Hindu Indian wedding, in chronological order:

Cocktail Night: Often a black tie event, the wedding celebrations will kick off with a party where the couple can let loose and enjoy a glamorous evening with their family and friends before the serious religious festivities get underway.

Mehendi: This is the ceremony where the bride, her family and guests will have their Mehendi (or Henna) done. Traditionally, the groom’s side would not be involved in this and do their own Mehendi at home, but this has now become the official opening wedding event. As the event is usually held in day time, bright colours—often with a dress code referring to green (like the colour of Mehendi) might be suggested. You should dress in an Indian outfit if possible.

Sangeet: This is usually held in the evening and is a dance-off with stage performances from the bride’s and the groom’s side. Traditionally, this is the evening when the couple would get engaged in front of all their guests, ahead of getting married the next day. Guests would often be instructed to wear sparkly outfits—I personally think you can get away with wearing an evening gown if you don’t want to wear another Indian outfit. Men can wear suits and tuxedos.

Haldi: This is probably my favourite of the religious ceremonies in a Hindu wedding. As a purifying ceremony for the bride and the groom, it can be deeply emotional for people close to the couple. Held during the day, I would recommend dressing in light-coloured clothing. It doesn’t need to be Indian per se, but if you do choose to wear western silhouettes, please do keep them modest. Often the theme will suggest colours in the shades of yellow and orange, as “haldi” translates to “turmeric” in Hindi.

Phere: This is the final event of the wedding festivities and is the religious ceremony where the couple will take their wedding vows and be married by a priest. Traditionally, the bride will wear red—in no circumstance should any guest (male or female) wear red. Women will be expected to dress in Indian outfits—I would recommend either a saree (a stretch of fabric arranged over the body as a robe, with one end attached to the waist, while the other end rests over one shoulder as a stole) or lehenga (a form of ankle-length skirt). Men can wear suits and will be given a Safa (a hat made out of a long colourful scarf) to wear.

Is there anything that would be considered poor taste or disrespectful to wear at an Indian wedding?
As suggested, I would avoid wearing red to any and all events—whether you’re a female or male guest. I would also try to wear Indian clothing where possible and, if and when wearing western silhouettes, please keep them modest.

How do you balance tradition with modernity?
I love mixing up Indian looks with a western take to create something unique but also appropriate for the festivities. You can do this by:

1. Pairing Indian outfits with western accessories—consider wearing your lehenga with western bags such as a Lady Dior for a smart and elegant finish, or a small basket bag for something fun.
2. The reverse—western outfits with Indian accessories. Think maximalist, full-length pieces from brands such as Jacquemus, Nadine Merabi, Needle Thread, and so on, styling them with bangles, heavy jewellery and Indian bags such as pouches. You could also wear an Indian scarf with a jumpsuit or long dress.
3. For something decidedly “fashion”, create your own take on an Indian look by wearing the top of an Indian outfit (the “blouse” as it is called) with a high-waisted skirt or pair of trousers.

Do you have any tips on getting the most wear out of something you might use for an Indian wedding?
I would highly recommend renting your Indian outfits. There is simply little to no value in purchasing low quality pieces from markets for single use, and the prices will still range from upwards of £75. By renting on the By Rotation app, wedding guests can borrow high-end designer and couture Indian outfits which not only look and feel much better to wear, but are also better in terms of your environmental footprint and usually much more cost-effective than making a day trip to purchase expensive, low-quality Indian outfits from said markets. You have the potential to feel like a real-life princess at an Indian wedding, so do it right the first time and make your outfits count.

What about accessories? Any tips on sensible accessory additions?
For handbags, I’d recommend small bags such as pouches, clutches and even smarter bags such as the nano Lady Dior or interestingly-shaped Lulu Guinness and Alaïa bags. Jewellery-wise, I would wear Indian-styled pieces where possible—large earrings, big necklaces, bangles, etc. For added authenticity, I’d also recommend sticking to gold tones. For shoes, as you will most likely be walking and dancing a lot, I would recommend hiding wedges under your lehengas! I absolutely love my Eleanor Wellesley wedges—they give me incredible height but are also very comfortable.

Are there any key colours to consider?
In terms of colour per celebration, my failsafes are shades of green for Mehendi and yellows and oranges for Haldi. Especially for Phere, say it with me—avoid red, white and black. 

Is there anything brides would want you to ask permission to wear beforehand?Colours such as red, white and black must be avoided at all wedding ceremonies and events—I wouldn’t even ask! There are so many other beautiful options you can choose from, it shouldn’t be restricting. Whatever you wear I would also try to keep it modest, especially when wearing western outfits (even outside of the official celebrations), to be respectful of elder relatives and other cultures.

Continue on to shop (and rent!) pieces that are fit for the best-dressed guests at a fabulous Indian wedding. 

What to Wear to An Indian Wedding: Outfit Suggestions