Which Fragrances Actually Cause Immediate Attraction? 347 New Yorkers on the Dating Scene Sound Off
Singles, happily coupled beauty lovers, a neuroscientist, and a dating app founder dish on how scent makes a difference.
If you’ve ever watched an episode of Sex and the City, Girls, or simply engaged in conversation with anyone who lives in New York City, you’ll know that dating in the Big Apple is no cake walk. “Talky bars,” as my friends call them, are so overstuffed that you’ll sweat no matter the temperature outside, yet patrons won’t leave their bubbles to speak to one another despite uncomfortably close quarters. Outside the bar, innumerable conversations trail to Hinge, Raya, or the new run club someone’s joined in an effort to find that elusive spark before they lose all hope in dating “in the wild.”
“Dating is a universally vulnerable and challenging experience,” says Rob Long, the CEO of Surf Dating. “Especially in New York, single people are faced with high standards, choice overload, and decision paralysis.” I don’t write this to sound jaded (though I very well may be), but to sympathize with the dating experience that extends far past New York’s small borders—and to shed light on a minute factor that the style set has been taking into consideration to make their dating lives more intentional.
I may be a perfume-obsessed beauty editor, but even I roll my eyes at the claims made by brands that their scent will enhance pheromones (attraction-increasing chemicals) or leave lasting first impressions. Sure, I believe in the power of a long-lasting fragrance—but lasting chemistry is a whole different ballgame. However, a TikTok series helmed by creator (and Byrdie beauty editor) Derek Deng about the very real consideration of fragrance in the LGBTQIA+ dating community gave me pause. Though I once considered good taste in fragrance to be a perk, does it actually insinuate the way people are as lovers—even partners? Does it hint at deeper intellect or emotional depth, or has the beauty industry been feeding me superficial fluff?
To gain some clarity, I decided to crowdsource the way I knew best—Instagram polls—to ask friends and followers which fragrances, if any, have influenced their dating decisions, and the results were shocking. New Yorkers quickly flooded my DMs about sneaky memory hacks, scent-influenced extramarital affairs, and more, with a special few perfumes getting repeat shoutouts for their magic powers. After a neuroscientist weighed in, I found my pessimistic views slowly shifting. Love spells might actually exist in the form of fragrance.
The Science
“From a neurological standpoint, smell is unique among the senses because of how directly it connects to the brain,” says triple board-certified neurologist, Leah Croll, MD. “There is an incredibly short distance between smell neurons in the nose and the emotional and memory centers in the brain. No other sense is processed on that kind of ‘expressway,’” she adds.
It’s due to this proximity that scent triggers memories and emotion almost instantly, but it can also influence how a person is remembered, according to the neurologist. (Which makes sense—one contributor said a man would visit the Nordstrom fragrance aisle just to sniff the perfume she wore when he missed her).
“A particular scent can become tightly associated with a person, memory, or relationship, and later re-activate those emotions with surprising intensity,” Croll explains. “The result is that scent isn’t just perceived, it’s felt.” But while a nice scent certainly helps shroud your romantic outing in a cloud of tantalizing smoke, Croll impresses that it won’t manifest attraction out of thin air.
“Scent works more like an amplifier than a driver. It can enhance emotional charge, familiarity, comfort, or even desire, but only within the broader context of personal experience, chemistry, and environment,” she explains. In short, attraction—whether physical, emotional, or, hopefully, a combination of both—needs to already exist for fragrance to turn up the heat. “That’s why the most ‘attractive’ scent is often the one that becomes meaningful to you, not the one that’s trending or scientifically engineered,” Croll adds.
The Survey
Demographics
Casting a wide net, this survey attracted a diverse demographic of New Yorkers to the scent scene (347 participants, to be exact). Contributors’ ages ranged from freshly post-grad and dating in a large city for the first time (around 22 years old) to roughly 40 years of age—some single, dating, or happily married.
The average age was approximately 31, with contributors hailing from the West Village in Manhattan to Bushwick, Brooklyn. Sexuality and gender ranged from person to person, with cisgender, transgender, nonbinary, and gender diverse participants casting their votes. While a majority of the contributors work in or adjacent to the beauty and fashion industries, there were also participants who work in healthcare, finance, and education, to name a few, rounding out this pool.
Poll Results
Does it really matter if you like the other person’s fragrance on the first date?
While the overwhelming majority felt strongly about this preference, some went out of their way to give some context. “If I don’t love it, it’s fine—but if I hate it or it’s too strong, that’s definitely a demerit in my book,” one participant writes. Another slid into my DM’s saying she went on a date and “hated” her date's cologne, which nixed a second meeting. “It legit stuck to my clothes,” she explains.
Is it attractive for the person you’re dating to have a signature scent, or do you like it if they change it up?
The results of this poll were almost evenly split, with 58% preferring their partners to smell consistently like “them” and 42% liking it when they try out new sensorial personas. In reviewing the people who voted each way, there was a true mixed bag of gender identities, vocations, sexualities, and senses of style—yet the majority value stability over spontaneity.
Has fragrance ever left a lasting impression after a date, or has someone told you this about yourself?
A landslide number of voters said yes, that scent has indeed created core memories while dating (or that they’ve been the source of such lasting impressions). “I swear it’s the best way to be in rooms without being in rooms,” New York artist Rebecca Schneider messages me. “[A] good scent makes you omnipresent.”
But you don’t have to be on a date with someone to use fragrance to your disposal—in fact, it’s a great way to create those first sparks. “At our in-person events, shared interests are usually what people mention first, but a great pair of shoes, a signature fragrance, or a thoughtful accessory is often what opens the door to a conversation—and what turns interest into chemistry,” Long adds.
Nearly every one of the almost 350 participants submitted a favorite fragrance (or several) that earns the most compliments and attracts people from across the room, though a few got repeat hits. Below, the 11 fragrances with the most shoutouts, plus a few honorable mentions.
Top 11 Most Attractive Scents, Ranked by New Yorkers
Most Complimented: Prada Paradoxe Intense Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Jasmine, amber, moss
There was no perfume recommended by NYC daters more frequently (and more passionately) than Prada Paradoxe Intense. This warm floral is a deepened version of the original Paradoxe, where the ambery-jasmine scent is dialed up to maximum heat. Woody Ambrofix, a synthetic version of ambergris, plunges the scent's light florals into a deep, ambery haze—forming an unforgettable scent that generates endless praise. “I’ve never been complimented more,” one New York publicist tells me of this perfume. “My Prada [Paradoxe] Intense has grabbed compliments from dates and many taxi drivers alike,” a fellow editor adds.
Most Complimented, Unisex: Byredo Mojave Ghost Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Ambrette, magnolia, cedarwood
Byredo’s Mojave Ghost is one of those unforgettable elixirs that will have you trying to place notes and pay attention to what the other person is saying all at once. An editor tells me this is her go-to date night scent, that it attracts people from across the room, and earns “a million compliments from Uber drivers.” If you favor mysterious scents marked by desert flowers, woody musk, and subtle powdery notes, this one will keep lovers on their toes.
Best for Date Night: Victoria Beckham 21:50 Rêverie Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Tobacco leaves, plum, vanilla
Though Prada Paradoxe Intense was the most popular among voters, the one specifically singled out for dates (by several stylish participants) was this seductive pick from Victoria Beckham Beauty. “My last first date, I wore Victoria Beckham 21:50 Rêverie and other men (not my date) stopped me to ask what I was wearing,” beauty editor (and fragrance-head) Mary Honkus tells me. Described as a “dark, raw vanilla” by Beckham in the description, this warm scent is spiced with smoky tobacco leaves, sweet plum, and earthy cedarwood to add depth and mystery. It’s a subtle, yet sure attention-grabber—perfect for dimly lit bars, velvet chaises, dripping candles, and sultry stares.
Best for First Dates: Glossier You Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Pink pepper, iris, ambrox
While Victoria Beckham’s glamorous scent may be best for evening escapades or third dates, several participants vouched for the star power of Glossier You in a crowded room. “Glossier You is that girl—I always get complimented,” a friend writes in. Recognized on TikTok as one of the first viral “pheromone-like” perfumes—a natural scent-enhancer—this one got a lot of attention from the fashion set. “I once was on a date, and my Uber driver, the bar hostess, our waitress, and my date all complimented my perfume,” a beauty publicist says. “I don’t know about him, but it left a lasting impression on me for it to become my go-to for a first date.”
Most Romantic: Parfums de Marly Delina Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Damascena rose, lily of the valley, musk
Perhaps the most classically romantic scent on this list is Parfums de Marly’s Delina, which was recommended by several beauty savants. A blushing bouquet of Turkish rose, peony, and lily of the valley is splashed with lychee, rhubarb, and a grounded mixture of vanilla, white musk, and woods. This balanced scent oozes regality and smells incredibly chic anytime, anywhere—from first dates to anniversaries. “Rose is so romantic and chic,” one beauty publicist croons. (In case you’re wondering, this is the very scent that the aforementioned man sprays atReplica Store to remember its wearer.) “I also spray the travel size on a man’s pillow,” she indulges. “[It] makes ‘em feral every time,” another adds.
Best Sexy: YSL Libre Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Lavender, orange blossom, musk
For something sexy yet simultaneously elegant, several participants called out YSL’s iconic Libre perfume. The musky-floral fragrance is made up of lavender essence, orange blossom, and, of course, musk, for a bold scent that is unapologetically seductive. “Libre is my signature, and I get tons of compliments on it,” one participant writes in, while another describes it as “feminine and bold, yet timeless.” Another highlights its subtle vanilla note, calling it the “perfect amount” for those who aren’t into overly gourmand fragrances but still want a touch of warm sweetness.
Best Signature Scent: Valentino Born in Roma Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Blackcurrant, jasmine grandiflorum, bourbon vanilla
If you’re looking for a fragrance that passes for a signature, everyday scent but also subtly turns up the heat, the data shows that Valentino’s Born in Roma is not to be ignored. Several participants lauded the warm floral magic housed inside this studded glass bottle, accented by spicy-sweet bourbon vanilla and jasmine flowers for a mysterious, unexpected twist. It’s an underrated designer scent that you’ll wish you had on your radar years ago.
Best Long-Lasting: YSL Beauty Black Opium Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Coffee, white flowers, vanilla
Seductive, sweet, and strong, this chic YSL fragrance is the one to wear when you want to smell heavenly all night long. Its decadent scent profile consists of rich java, dainty white florals, and a splash of vanilla. The complex fragrance smells alluring the second it hits your skin, but it’s not one to fade into a whisper after an hour. One voter described it as a “sexy, musky scent that lasts all night,” while another said her now-boyfriend “loved it so much [that] he bought it for me when we first started dating.”
Most Memorable: Maison Francis Kurkdjian Baccarat Rouge 540 Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Saffron, wood accord, amber
Perhaps one of the most famous fragrances of the past few years, Baccarat Rouge doesn’t need a brand intro to be recognizable. Its warm, amber- and saffron-flecked profile is a head-turner no matter where it's worn, but according to my participants, this scent tends to do the talking for you. “I literally swear by men being attracted to Baccarat Rouge,” a makeup artist says in my DMs. “It’s the only scent I’ll wear. If I’m out at a bar and wearing it, good things happen to me,” she adds coyly. “Men always remember Bacarrat Rouge,” another writes. With impressive staying power and a seductive sillage, this timeless, warm perfume favors the bold.
Best Mist: Sol de Janeiro Cheirosa 68 Beija Flor Hair Body Perfume Mist
Sol De Janeiro’s perfume mists are crowdpleasers for several reasons, but one thing always remains true—their scents are downright delicious. This delectable perfume mist blends the sweetness of pink dragonfruit and vanilla with fresh Brazilian jasmine florals, creating this utterly irresistible confection. A beauty editor tells me that once upon a time, a date fell hard for the cloud of Cheirosa 68 that she wore. “He said it stayed on his pillow for days after,” she adds. A PR professional also confirmed that this is the scent in her collection that attracts all the compliments these days. Her suggestion? Scent stack with the matching body oil after showering for more staying power.
Best Androgynous: Le Labo Thé Noir 29 Eau de Parfum
Key notes: Bergamot, tobacco, vetiver
For a scent that defies binaries and ensnares the senses, voters can’t recommend Le Labo’s Thé Noir 29 enough. The alluring elixir twists tart bergamot, sweet fig, and earthy cedarwood into a sensuous storm—with dashes of bay leaves, black tea, and tobacco offering a musky, mysterious touch. Doctors, publicists, and more recommended this scent for date nights and beyond, with one source citing its “sexy, understated” profile as the reason they keep going back to it. “A girl once told me she slept with me only because of how I smelled,” another participant slyly tells me.
Honorable Mentions
"I was gifted this perfume, and every single time I wear it, I get so many compliments from strangers," a publicist writes to me. "I was at dinner in the West Village recently, and a group of girls came over to ask what I was wearing. I happened to have it in my purse, and they all asked for a spritz before heading out for the night. Who knows what romantic partners it attracted from there! It’s iconic."
“So here’s the thing: four years ago, I got ready for a first date with someone who’s now been my boyfriend for four years," says fashion designer, stylist, and founder of Marais Studios, Kai Huntoon. "At the time, I had just started wearing Louis Vuitton Afternoon Swim—which is arguably the most delicious scent imaginable in my humble opinion. He couldn’t stop complimenting how good I smelled. I eventually ran out and never replaced it, but he never stopped bringing it up. Fast forward to this year, four years later, I finally bought another bottle, and now every time I wear it, he says he’s instantly transported back to our first date and that first year and night together, which might be the cutest thing to me… I love Louis Vuitton Afternoon Swim, and my oh my, it truly makes a difference in dating.”
"I wore Dolce's Blue Jasmine on [my partner] and I’s first date, and then stopped wearing it for a while just because I have so many and am always rotating," one beauty writer tells me. "I wore it [again] a year later, and she immediately was like, “You wore this one our first date."
More Fragrances People Love
